Instructions: use as directed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Using the summarization post is easy! All the events to have ever gone on at Oshima are listed under the month and year of their happening - nothing is left to chance! This is the easiest and best way for all members to do their homework: just follow the links if you want to read more as to what's going on, and check in regularly just to get the gist of things. If you see something the mods have yet to post, just leave a comment saying so...! We'll be quick to add it.

Let's hope this works.

[2006!JUNE] Tayuya, adamant about her last summer in highschool, talks to Shisui about an epically epic party he hosts later on that week. It's plenty eventful enough to generate wagging mouths for months to come.

[2006!JULY] Deidara, Sasori, and Tayuya begin testing out his fireworks for the annual Class of '07 summer extravanganza. Shisui hosts both the extravaganza and yet another party at his house. Tayuya, Dediara, and he get together for pizza the next day, and then it's back to school for everyone, seniors included. Sasori, bored per usual, goes to play a little basketball by himself and ends up flirting with Temari instead. More school occurs. Deidara nearly busts his head running up a flight of stairs, and he and Tayuya are sexually tense together. Kurenai and Asuma go out and drink responsibly, as teachers should. Temari and Gaara have the sex talk. The world is amazed to learn that Tayuya can actually do her school work when she feels like it. Temari and Gaara are cute at the beach. The infamous Kawazu Jiraiya begins to make all the girls uncomfortable again in literature class. Joshu Shizune's pet pig begins to attract alot of unnecessary attention. Drunk!Haku goes to his new neighbor Gaara's house and hits on him shamelessly. Kakashi makes excuses and Ibiki teaches his students as if they're smarter than they really are. Shisui gives his cousin Sasuke an unorthodox birthday gift. Ukon and Sakon dwell on their Peter Pan syndrome. A scantily-clothed Haku attempts to help Gaara sleep better. Orochimaru is needlessly cruel to his students, giving both of his periods lengthy tests, and then commissioning Sakon to do an incestuous painting for him. Asuma and Kurenai have sex. Temari and Gaara have another sex-themed discussion. The elder Sand sibling then goes to a festival with hardly-seen Kankurou!brother.

[2006!AUGUST] A Shukaku takeover results in Haku and Gaara welcoming in the new month with a long awaited angst fest of horrific doom. Jiraiya discusses The Odyssey with his classes; his students are less than enthralled. Gaara and Naruto meet and immediately decide to act like three-year-olds around one another. Itachi arrives back on the island, morbid after a confrontation with his younger brother and high off his eye medication, and he and Haku do tea. Coffee. Whatever. Temari does the motherly(?) thing and attempts to frighten Haku off, which doesn't work very well. Itachi lurks in dark places and attacks random passersby, specifically Naruto, before being mind-fucked at his own apartment by none other than Sakon. He decides to stop falling asleep on the floor. Naruto, still healing from the encounter, meets up with Haku and realizes that he can't read gender for shit; he then goes home to molest Sasuke because the day just wouldn't be complete otehrwise. Orochimaru reveals to Sakon and Ukon that he is an avid pedophiliac and they are - for some strange reason - surprised by it. Gaara and Kankurou have a pleasant conversation that goes incredibly awry when Shuukaku appears and attempts to beat the shit out of both of them. Temari and Zetsu meet in the park (go figure). Gaara, Haku and Ino go to a cafe and act like women. Planning for the first school dance begins. Ino and Kankurou flirt. Kyuubi makes the decision that Itachi will be his; Itachi makes the decision that Kyuubi is a dead man. Everyone rounds up their date, puts them in a suit, and turns out for the dance to vote for Prom King Yokobue Tayuya and her bitch Prom Queen Uchiha Itachi. Temari almost gets it in the face and Itachi almost gets it in the ass. Both walk away unscathed. Tongues wag for months afterwards. Ino and Temari have a naked celebration for an afterparty - Naruto and Sasuke make out on their couch. School resumes normality: Jiraiya assigns a creative writing assignment; Haku is hyper-active and celebrates his birthday; Ino runs around naked; Sasuke bitchslaps a stranger in a convenience store; Temari and Gaara have sex for no real reason.

[2006!SEPTEMBER] Haku, Kankurou, and Gaara talk in circles. Itachi and Shisui have sex on Shisui's kitchen floor. Haku and Ino go clubbing. Sakon and Kankurou have a meaningless talk at the beach. Orochimaru fucks Haku's brains out. Hinata, Naruto, and Sasuke talk about being neighbors. Itachi takes Shisui out for food; they have more floor sex. Sasori and Temari, Izumo and Kotetsu attempt to outdo them in this regard - whether or not they succeed is debatable. Haku and Gaara make eggs. The Oshima staff has a dinner party. Itachi and Shisui reminisce about their childhood. Haku and Gaara kiss after Haku gets off work. Itachi and Shisui have sex in the daytime.

[2006!OCTOBER] Kotetsu brings Haku food. Haku does heroin, smokes, and is all-around hard to deal with. Hidan appears and bitches to his cooking instructors about how much Uchihas suck. Izumo and Gaara get cigarettes together. Haku and Zabuza have sex on the couch. Shizune is bored by her own subject, and the IzuKo team make the rounds, talking with Temari and Gaara between classes. Sakon meets Neji and then goes home to have strange alien sex with Ukon. Hidan, disappointed that Kakuza doesn't find him sexy, breaks Sasuke's arm and then pays for it pretty dearly. Inuzuka Hana appears on the scene and makes friends with Kabuto and Kisame, thanks in part to her ginormous rack. Hidan pinches her butt. She and Kakuzu visit him later in the hospital because Itachi is not a very nice person, relatively speaking. Naruto celebrates his birthday by being an idiot. Haku goes to play basketball and ends up blowing Zabuza instead. (He read his stage directions wrong.) He and Kimimaro chat. Izumo totally ninjas Kotetsu, who later ninjas him back. Kabuto is a smartass to Neji and gets royally owned by his music instructor. Zabuza robs a bank. Hidan gets out of the hospital. Tayuya antagonizes first Sai then Zetsu. Kankurou and Gaara have another talk and miraculously nothing terrible happens for once. Shisui goes running and then he and Itachi take a bath together.

[2006!NOVEMBER] Tayuya hosts an epic toga party. Hidan and Hana go dirty dancing. Kotetsu and Izumo get married. Tayuya gives Hidan a blowjob at a local park and then punches him for laughing afterwards. Hana is unamused to hear about it. Haku and Gaara talk more about their relationship; the latter has self-loathing sex with Sai not a few days later. Sai goes on to follow in his science teacher's footsteps and hit on everyone's favorite autistic child, Tobi, who is cute over broken crayons with Hana in the halls at school. LOL DEIDARA FINALLY GETS FUCKING LAID AND IT IS INCREDIBLY EPIC. OSHIMA GROUP HUGS. He talks to his number one fan, and  to Sasori and Shisui about love, among other things. Tayuya talks to Itachi, who is (get this) neither sympathetic to her situation nor very comforting. Deidara finds out and swears vengeance. Hidan gets ridiculous slobbering drunk and picks on Tobi. Orochimaru violates Zaku. Tobi goes out to the pond with Hana and has a sing-a-long with Kabuto.

[2006!DECEMBER] Kabuto and Kimimaro make evil plans. Izumo gives Hidan advice that he doesn't follow. Winter break begins. Hana and Hidan break up. Haku gets high out of his mind and attempts (unsuccessfully) to break it off with Zabuza. The latter gets drunk in the teacher's lounge and ends up spouting off about it to Jiraiya of all people. Deidara and Tayuya go to spend the break with his family in Iwa. Sasori manages to get himself raped by Zabuza in their absence. He also gets the bombed drop that a recently returned Temari is apparently having his baby. He goes to ignore people in Iwa with Deidara and Tayuya who are not pleased to hear about the rape. Kiba and his bat give Hana-ex dickface boyfriend Hidan a major scare. Sai and Tobi come in to work on an art project over the break and end up making out, which is all well and good accepting Tobi's mental retardation. Zabuza goes off on Iruka for no good reason. He and Haku try for breaking up again. Iruka has drunken sex with Mizuki and then experiences the good old morning after. He and Mizuki reconcile a while afterwards. Hidan tries to win Hana's heart back and gets metaphorically punched in the nads. Tayuya calls Itachi up and demands he come to Iwa because of what's happened with Sasori, and he agrees, but only after having violent threeway sex with his cousin and now-traumatized younger brother.

[2007!JANUARY] The Akatzuki meet at Sasori's house and decide who will be next year's Secret Santa that Zabuza is going to die. Sasori tortures Itachi afterwards because, hey, what are friends really for in the long run anyway? Mizuki and Iruka go on a date. While Zabuza and his cousin Kisame get together and talk about the fact that Haku is, indeed, a boy and that Kisame loves his shark in a way that's kind of not completely normal, Shuukaku beats the former in their laundry room. Zabuza brings Haku a rabbit. Iruka has coffee with Izumo after having a spectacular lunch of spectularity with Gai-sensei. Oroshimaru plots with his favorite ever protege Kabuto. Mizuki and Iruka talk about fetishes. Mizuki and Izumo talk about sex cookies. School resumes at long last. Hinata brings food and keeps Naruto company. Hidan's bad day gets worse when he walks in on Hana and Kakuzu making out. Sai realizes he has become Tobi's surrogate mother and the two play Go Fish. Mizuki and Iruka move in together. Sai and Kabuto hump in the art room. Tobi steals a turtle from Orochimaru.

[2007!FEBRUARY] Kabuto and Sai have sex at his apartment. They then talk about it loudly in the hallways at school for whatever reason. Kakashi is cornered and caked by Izumo for his birthday. Temari announces to her brothers that she's pregnant. Shuukaku beats her up. Haku gets high with Zabuza in the locker rooms. Sai and Kabuto have sex in a classroom right above Orochimaru's. Haku and Gaara do lunch. Tayuya celebrates her birthday beer-riot-in-church style and gets the BEST PRESENT EVAR from her boyfriend and his danna. Hana and Hidan get back together for the sake of Valentine's Day. Kiba thinks this is gross and does not approve whatsoever. Sai and Kabuto celebrate Valentine's Day with more butt secks. They fluff a while later.

[2007!MARCH] Iruka and Mizuki have a minor breakup scare. Kabuto and Sai fluff more. Kakashi makes Obito cry. Exams start, and Shisui helps everyone relax by bringing potatoes to munch on. Lee plays basketball with TenTen and then bonds with Gaara. Obito teaches him how to knit. Obito gets his ass pinched by Orochimaru. He then gets the good old Uchiha-cest treatment via Sasuke. Haku is a whore.

[2007!APRIL] Staff begins talking about an upcoming dance. Naruto and his younger twin sister reunite at last.

[2007!MAY] Enter the atrocity that is Oshima's yearly prom. Sasuke asks Naruko (Naruto is not peased), Kanakurou almost asks Ino, Shikamaru asks Temari, Deidara convinces Sasori, Shisui asks (OH DEAR GOD) Yondaime, and Tayuya wrestles Itachi into submission. Ultimate night of ridiculous doom occurs. Tayuya is voted King once again; Sasuke is voted her Queen. (Mikoto is so proud.) The Akatsuki hang Zabuza from a bridge. Tsunade is pissed. Itachi flips out over Yondaime's presence and runs off to be a suicidal vegetable at Sasori's house for several months. Shisui and Yondaime go to the beach. Sasuke and Naruto start to be a little easier around each other, which results in nekkid cuddling and the like. Kin gets lost in the music hall. Naruko moves in with Naruto and Sasuke; she meets Jiraiya. The seniors graduate.

[2007!JUNE] The school year finally ends with the infamous annual staff drink-a-thon. Naruto and Sasuke host an end of the year party.

[2007!AUGUST] School resumes. Sasuke meets Karin. Sasori puts Shisui in the hospital. Tsunade begins to reiterate her summer vacation to the staff, and brings up the idea of the ANBU vigilante group. Kasumi meets Zetsu. Naruto breaks down Sasuke's door and gives him a blowjob, and then has a talk with Karin. He gets her panties.

[2007!SEPTEMBER] Ino has a party.

Last updated on OCTOBER 21, 2007 by ITACHI-MUN (crimson_prose    ). Please submit all questions, comments, and additional information to Oshima mods.